1. |
Nothing Person
04:36
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How this room has held
So much noise
As the nights spill over and begin again
Permanence becomes washing hands and touching dust
I see what I want to see
Reveling, hanging from the ceiling
The memory just wanders and is sewn anew
To walk along the water with a distorted view
He walks over
Silent as a moth
Just keep your distance from me now (x2)
A pain in my side
And it seems to grow and wane
My head in the fire
And I don't know what I wanna see
And I waste my time
Caught in overgrowth
Spitting angry sighs
Did I give you just another piece to criticize
Who gives a fuck if I try
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2. |
4 am
06:52
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As the loop enlaces
Subtleties are stripped away
Have I just imagined
That you seem to look my way
Do you see me
Green is where I want to be (x2)
Three days, three days of a single night
Three days, three days of another life
Three days, three days I'm encased in wire
The engines scream
It cuts a hole in my head
The taste is sick
I feel unease on my tongue
Won't ever slip
Into the floors
A restlessness inside
Look towards the spires
And lettered streets
You come mend my hands
As I burst the seams
And it's in the bones
And it wants to hide
But you bring me out from deep inside
You bring me out from deep inside
Underneath a single light (x2)
Now the streetlamp becomes the moon to me
I'm falling back again
I can eat this but nothing changes
I'm falling back again
Once a fervor
It's now an impediment
Your likeness lingers on my pillowcase
And I could say that it's better than it's ever been
I know you think that I don't think of you
But you can trust that I do
Watching the porchlights in the dark
Climb to the rooftop
I smile at you
You laugh, you laugh (x2)
If you and I burned a hole into the sky
If you and I could have felt each other's fire
But you weren't there
I just never fell asleep
You were never there
Just too long I've been awake
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3. |
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I’m standing in a breeze above your grave
The obituary read that you found solace in your faith
A bullet in the chest
I’ve dreamt the same
Betrayed by an unfamiliar state
The point is to not be confused
To radically accept a passing phase
Is how I’ve come to know my age
Now I’ve come to know my age (x2)
Where we wrote our names last April is all frozen over
There’s a flutist in the distance playing songs I can’t recall
Drag my feet across the rocks and now they’re cold and dripping
I can feel it I can see it and it’s all I focus on
Now I’m older I’ve been reaching for a stronger purpose
But maybe it’s just a misconception and it drags me in again
But I am confident and walking and no longer freezing
I am confident I’m walking and I’m barely cold
I am older I am walking and no longer freezing
In this house
It speaks
It sings
In this house
A sober sight
A parasite
The bones are sunken in the face
Solace turns to emptiness
My shadow paints a scene I can’t erase
The light from the candle on the floor next to my bed
A choir sings in the parking lot outside my window
The door is locked now
And I am scared but I have to go to bed
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4. |
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(instrumental)
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5. |
Hi, Ry
06:56
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In my garden I will bury your name
Veins unfurling is a scene I can’t shake
Now I’m mad and I don’t know why
I don’t know why I’m devastated
In a pinch it obliterates me
Now and then I will watch the crows
I taste the shroud of smoke
And I can’t dwell on what can’t be changed
It costs too much to leave
In the lightning storm I walked across the city to the docks
And thought about the days I never said a word
And as I start to sing I feel a tension in my chest
And if it overtakes me then it probably wouldn’t hurt
And if it overwhelms me then it probably wouldn’t hurt
A cradle rocks and bends and breaks it only takes a couple days to pass
I can’t see it manifesting all I have are memories of a mess
Maybe as you’ve said before
Change won’t scare me anymore
The sky has turned I turn my head away
As spring descends
In timelessness
Your will is spent
When there’s blood on my fingertips I just wanted this for myself
When you’re carving your name on my lips I just wanted this for myself
When I’m living outside of my skin I just wanted this for myself
Be still your thoughts will fade
Your voice just falls away
Entombed and locked away
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6. |
Gonna Clean My Room
05:34
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I’m bracing
It drags me
‘Cause I’m not a rock and I never was
My plants won’t stop dying
They don’t see the sunlight anymore
I took my jacket off
And felt the breeze
I was in my body then
The cold felt nice that day
And you say
It’s childlike
What the fuck do you know about me
Confusion is consistent
Living lives that I’ll never live
And this uncertainty
I still adorn
But it is evident
Change is always there (x3)
Tides will ease again
Find the breeze again
Time will ease again
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Ryan Malloree Bellingham, Washington
Singer-songwriter from Bellingham, WA. Voted #1 sad-sack of the Pacific Northwest 5 years running.
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